


Shenanigans, aka G(r)ay Feelings

by Blaze (Swiftadmiral)



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Awkwardness, M/M, Multi, Nonsense, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 12:03:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,309
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13974738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swiftadmiral/pseuds/Blaze
Summary: A one-off/short featuring a night with the zoosonas of a_Signature, Famished, and Knight





	Shenanigans, aka G(r)ay Feelings

**Author's Note:**

> This is what happens when you try to cram too much nonsense into one short.

It was a peaceful night.

Notwithstanding the three agitated predators inside a certain treetop home.  

“Harder, fucker!”

“Arh, it won’t fit.”

“Work it in… There you go.”

The thick, humid air outside boiled and bumbled against the wooden structure, causing condensation to form on every conceivable surface. Though there was a soft white glow outside, the sliver of moonlight cast through the window was overcome by the yellow ceiling light. 

Beneath this radiant light there sat three animals on the smooth wooden floor: Brian, a gray wolf, Terry, a gray mongoose, and Hamilton, a gay fox. 

Brian’s eyebrows were drawing tighter and tighter, his paws gripping the instruction sheet with a vengeful grasp. A low growl rumbled through the large canine. “Terry, this is only in hipponese. Where did you buy this shit?”

“Pawlmart. It was on sale.” The mongoose’s tongue slipped out as his eyebrows crinkled in concentration.

Carefully observing the mongoose work, Hamilton’s own tongue darted out to lavishly lick his lips.  

Several moments passed before the oblivious fox noticed Brian’s eyes boring into him. “Ham, when are you going to stop gawking and help us?”

At that, Terry’s head snapped to attention, glancing quickly between the two larger predators beside him.

“Oh. Right.” The fox looked to the floor, floofy ears pulled back.

With an amount of sass possible only for a wolf, Brian slowly shook his head. “Ay yai-fucking ay.” The lupine lurched to his feet, letting the useless instructions glide gently to the ground. “You two, I swear…”

The mongoose cocked his head. “What do you mean?”

“Uhhhh,” Hamilton stammered as he leaned over, “hey Terry let me help you with that.”

“I don’t need help with it.”

“Don’t be silly. That’s clearly too big for your paws to handle.”

Rolling his luminous blue eyes, the wolf reluctantly shuffled over, his huge form towering above the two smaller predators. “Well Hammy yours aren’t much bigger. Here, let me take it.”

“Ugh, fine.” Terry relinquished his control of the half-completed board as a pair of paws larger than his own head snatched it up. 

With one smooth “snap!” the wolf easily put the two parts together. The same two parts Terry had been trying to put together for longer than he’d ever admit. 

Out of the corner of his eye, the comparatively colossal canine noticed the mongoose staring at him. “Something you want to say, little guy?”

If it were possible for fur to change color, Terry’s cheeks were somewhere between adolescent orange and incest purple. 

Neither of the two had noticed that the vulpine had been watching the lupine the entire time, eyes gradually growing wider at the same rate as his lengthy fox-tongue began to hang out of his mouth. 

The wolf crossed his arms over his chest and huffed laboriously, even though he had barely done anything remotely laborious. “At this rate, we’re never going to get this damn thing finished.”

This caused the mongoose to strap a paw to his chin thoughtfully, while besidest him the gray fox continued to stare wistfully. 

Suddenly, his paw shot into the air, the flash of enlightenment spurring him to his feet. The shortest mammal of the three spoke with a newly acquired air of authority. 

“Alright, pointy ears, if we’re going to get this done, we’re going to need to share the load. We’ll have to use the picture on the box as a guide. Brian, obviously you’re the strongest, so you can put together the legs and main field of the foosball table. I’ll handle the little stuff, like the players and handles, since my paws are clearly the smallest. Hamilton… You can stop staring and clean up all this torn up paper and plastic.”

The three carnivores set about completing their assigned tasks, the two canids opting to make idle conversation over the sound of crinkling plastic and wooden parts snapping together. 

“I don’t know what you find so damn attractive about that mongoose, Hammy, especially when he insults us so.”

“What, pointy ears? How is that an insult? Lots of animals have pointed ears.”

The wolf shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t look at me. Apparently mongooses are related to cats and hyenas.”

“What does that have to do with pointy ears?”

The wolf again shrugged his shoulders.

“Wait… Really?” A thread of doubt began to weave its way into the gray fox’s voice. “So they’re not even actual tube dudes?” 

“Well, I don’t know if I’d say that…”

“Man, my legs are sore.” The “tube dude” in question suddenly interjected. 

Brian was quick to reply. “Want me to give you a massage?”

Hamilton’s eyebrows almost blasted through the ceiling. 

“Ahhhh... No thanks. I'm good.”

The white furred canine looked to the floor, right ear bent forward in a way that was adorable but still befitting a manly (wolfly?) wolf. Hamilton leaned over next him, picking up a discarded plastic bag as slowly as possible. “Are you hitting on him?” he whispered. 

Brian recoiled, a wet smacking sound emanating from his mouth. “What? Hell no! He’s too small for me, and besides...” 

“You guys know I can hear you, right?”

The two looked towards the mongoose, whose ears were flattened and eyebrows nearly hugging his eyes. 

“Uh… Yeah, dummy, of course we know.” Replied the wolf, a current of emotions strangled within his voice. A single bead of sweat ran down his muzzle to the end of his nose. 

Hamilton started coughing in a very strange way, as the other two went back to working in a now slightly tense atmosphere. 

Rather abruptly, the gray wolf yawned, causing Terry to stare with wide eyes at his massive gaping maw.

“Hmmmmmmm...” 

“What’s that Terry?” 

“Nothing.”

The fox eyed the mongoose’s tail as it violently whipped back and forth. With a longing sigh Hamilton sat down next to Brian and began helping him.

For nearly an hour the animals worked together in peaceful silence, as the group project neared completion. 

At some point the wolf looked up with a crooked smile on his face. “Arg, I’m almost finished.”

A devious, undignified smirk took hold over the fox’s expression. “Hey, me too! Let’s finish together.”

Terry’s eyes almost rolled out of their sockets.

With one final turn of a screw driver, the mongoose stepped backwards, standing in between the other two predators. With mirror postures of paws on their hips, they admired the finished result. 

“It’s done.” 

“Fucking finally.” 

“I didn't think we'd have the stamina.”

“Oh, you’d be surprised.”

“And it even looks like the picture on the box!”

“See, we can solve our problems by working together and ignoring our actual relationship issues!”

“What?”

Brian looked down at his wrist. “Well, it's getting pretty early; I got to get home guys. Tomorrow, same time?”

“Sure thing!” Terry enthused. “Then we’ll be able to start our ‘tournament’.”

“Alright then. I leave you two… With each other. Alone. Just the two of you. Bye!”

“...Goodbye.” The tube said in a monotone voice, his eyes frozen in place. 

The gay fox waved enthusiastically. “Drive safe Brian!”

With one final wave of his fluffy white tail the wolf disappeared through the door, which he politely closed behind him. 

A note of uncomfortable, sweat fueled silence hung in the air, seemingly spanning several minutes, before the remaining mammals finally looked at each other. 

The was an eerie, yellowish gleam reflected in the mongoose’s eye. From the ceiling light. “Hamilton…”

“Yes, my little ‘goose?”

“Thank you for your help. Sorry it took so long.”

The fox’s face was nearly inscrutable; only the slight upward slant of his lips gave any clue as to his intentions. “That’s fine, sometimes you gotta take things nice and slow, rather than brute force your way to completion.”

...

“If you know what I mean.”

“Get out.”

Wha- No goodbye kiss?”

“OUT.”

“Fine. See ya tomorrow.”


End file.
